Who's running the CompUter Store?

A Bot: CompUter store. Can I help you?
Cost 'ell:I'm thinking about a computer.
A Bot: Mac?
Cost 'ell:No, Lou.
A Bot: Your computer's name is Lou?
Cost 'ell:I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
A Bot: Mac?
Cost 'ell: No, Lou.
A Bot: Okay, do you want Windows?
Cost 'ell:Why? Does the computer make it stuffy?
A Bot: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Cost 'ell:I don't know. What will I see in the windows?
A Bot: Wallpaper.
Cost 'ell:Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
A Bot: Software for Windows?
Cost 'ell:No. No,on the computer! I need something to run a business. What have you got?
A Bot: Office.
Cost 'ell:Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
A Bot: I just did.
Cost 'ell:You just did what?
A Bot: Recommend something.
Cost 'ell:You recommended something?
A Bot: Yes.
Cost 'ell:For my office?
A Bot: Yes.
Cost 'ell:OK, what did you recommend for my office?
A Bot: Office.
Cost 'ell:Yes, for my office!
A Bot: I recommend Office with Windows.
Cost 'ell:I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
A Bot: Word.
Cost 'ell:What word?
A Bot: Word in Office.
Cost 'ell:The only word in office is office.
A Bot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Cost 'ell:Which word in office for windows?
A Bot: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
Cost 'ell:I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
A Bot: Yes, you want Real One.
Cost 'ell:Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
A Bot: Real One.
Cost 'ell:If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?
A Bot: Of course.
Cost 'ell:Great! With what?
A Bot: Real One.
Cost 'ell:OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
A Bot: You click the blue "1".
Cost 'ell:I click the blue one what?
A Bot: The blue "1".
Cost 'ell:Is that different from the blue w?
A Bot: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
Cost 'ell:What word?
A Bot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Cost 'ell:But there's three words in "office for windows"!
A Bot: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
Cost 'ell:It is?
A Bot: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
Cost 'ell:And that word is real one?
A Bot: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
Cost 'ell:STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
You have anything I can track my money with?
A Bot: Money.
Cost 'ell:That's right. What do you have?
A Bot: Money.
Cost 'ell:I need money to track my money?
A Bot: It comes bundled with your computer
Cost 'ell:What's bundled with my computer?
A Bot: Money.
Cost 'ell:Money comes with my computer?
A Bot: Yes. No extra charge.
Cost 'ell:I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
A Bot: One copy.
Cost 'ell:Isn't it illegal to copy money?
A Bot: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
Cost 'ell:They can give you a license to copy money?
A Bot: Of course! They own it.

Next call:
A Bot: CompUter store.
Cost 'ell:How do I turn my computer off?
A Bot: Click on "START"..........

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