Take it easy
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- A day without sunshine is like... night.
- On the other hand... you have different fingers.
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Remember half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- I intend to live forever - so far so good.
- Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
- Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
- Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and
going the wrong way.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need to.
- For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable... except from vending machines.
- Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade.
- Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.