Great things about being a guy

  1. Our last name stays the same.
  2. The garage is ours.
  3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  4. Chocolate is just another snack.
  5. We can wear a white shirt to a water park.
  6. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
  7. We don't care if our new haircut goes unnoticed.
  8. The world is a urinal.
  9. Hot wax never touches our body.
  10. We never go to another gas station because this one's just too icky
  11. Same work... more pay.
  12. Wrinkles add character.
  13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $50.
  14. If we retain water, it's in a canteen.
  15. We like women to glance at our chest.
  16. A belch is practically expected.
  17. Same mood, ALL the time.
  18. Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  19. We know stuff about tanks.
  20. Five days at sea = one suitcase.
  21. We can open our own jars.
  22. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob us.
  23. We can go to a toilet without a support group.
  24. Motel beds remain unmade.
  25. We kill your own food.
  26. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  27. If someone forgets to invite me to something, they can still be your friend.
  28. Underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  29. 34 and single? Way to go, dude!
  30. Everything above our neck stays its original color.
  31. We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
  32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  33. We can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
  34. We can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  35. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, we just might become lifelong friends.
  36. We aren't expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  37. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  38. We almost never have strap problems in public.
  39. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  40. Big hips? no problem -- your belly will hide them.
  41. Nail care requires a pocket knife.
  42. Christmas shopping accomplished for 25 relatives, on Dec. 24th, in 45 minutes.

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